This is why you became a people pleaser
Parts of us and the reasons why we are the way we are can be tied and traced back to our upbringing. This can be both a positive and negative thing depending how we use this information. Before blaming yourself for being a certain way, examine your upbringing and see if their’s reasons that contribute. But more aware of where you came from can help direct you in the best option of where to go.
Here are some of the reasons that makes you a people pleaser:
1. As a child, you didn’t feel safe disagreeing with others: you grow up feeling that you weren’t entitled to have your own point of view.
2. Your parents misinterpreted or invalidated your feeling and needs: this teaches you that your feelings and your needs don’t matter.
3. Emotionally unavailable parents: the child longs for connection with their parents. When they don’t have it, they learn to dismiss their own feelings and needs so they can earn their parents’ love, approval and attention.
4. The child learns that ‘being nice’, dismissing their own feelings, and putting others first is the way to be worthy of love. They carry those beliefs into their adult relationships.
There are much more to it, there's nothing wrong or right into it but the main thing is to know yourself and have some self reflection. If it's not harming you then its okay.
We asked one of our mate who experiences it, he says – ” Sometimes we become people pleasers because our parents also have co-dependency issues instead of emotional unavailability. That was my care. I became co-dependent as an adult because I was emulating both my parent that way. Neither of them were abusive towards me and I actually grew up in a very loving household. However, their co-dependency showed up in their interactions beyond our family. They could never teach me how to set good boundaries, express my needs and take up space because they struggled with that themselves. Over giving, tolerating people more than necessary and ‘being nice’ always. So I am learning and unlearning a bunch of things now.
Please feel free to comment down your experiences and thoughts about it. We are more than happy to initiate some more light into it.
